“There is only one approved way to sit on the toilet! It has been designed to make you look stupid and feel foolish! It is against regulation to look cool and feel confident on the toilet! This is the way it has always been and must always be.”

Strong words, right? Conformists, take note. This will realign your thinking about a subject most people only speak of in discreet whispers.

Apple is well known for its product roll outs and marketing. Steve Jobs and his “one more thing” unveils are legendary, and advertising has been just as influential. And since the tech giant is so influential, it’s ripe for parody, and that’s what Saturday Night Live did last night. Guest host Benedict Cumberbatch debuted a new product that no tech site had on its radar. Cumberbatch is currently starring in the new movie Dr. Strange, so his timing was no coincidence — that’s how they roll in Hollywood.

We admit it, Digital Trends was totally unprepared for this one, and this is our mea culpa.

So here we are, basking in the magnificence of the latest and greatest from Cupertino. Kind of. In a spooky dead-on parody of the classic Apple 1984 commercial, Cumberbatch exudes effortless British cool in this one, smashing open a large box with a sledgehammer to unveil the new Koohl toilet from Kohler. Or Apple, depending on your point of view.

“This is impossible,” the Big Brother voice intones from the massive screen at the front of the meeting hall, with the Dire Straits’ Money for Nothing in the background. “No citizen can look cool while sitting on the toilet! This changes everything!”

The cool way, er, make that the Koohl way to sit on the toilet, we learn, is backwards with your arms folded, wearing wraparound shades and sporting an Armani suit that probably cost the same as your average Toyota. The main feature is a reversible bowl, of course. A bit of neon trim adds some contemporary splash to the glossy high-tech look. The announcer at the end intones that it’s coming “Spring 2017,” but naturally it’s already available in Japan.

This changes everything, indeed.