There’s a lot that Apple’s personal assistant Siri can do; whether you need it to make calls, search the web, set up tasks, create reminders or even help the hard of hearing, it can lend a hand in a pinch. And amongst all the serious answers and helpful reminders, Siri has a few funny one-liners and jokes, if you know what to ask.
Siri has been getting smarter and smarter ever since it first launched on the iPhone 4S in 2011, and 2026 promises its AI overhaul which should bring even more functionality. But you don’t need to wait that long for the assistant to tell you jokes, as various prompts and commands will bring out Siri’s funny side.
We asked Siri hundreds of questions, from innocuous ones to outright demands for jokes, to see what it’d say. Most of the time, it wouldn’t be tempted and gave actual advice, but there are some Easter Egg lines hidden out there. Here are some of our favorite.
A: Like it says on the box, I was created by Apple in California.
A: It’s a riddle wrapped in an enigma, tied with a pretty ribbon of obfuscation.
A: I’m not sure what you’ve heard, but virtual assistants have feelings too.
A: Well, when I was at school, I had to cheat on my metaphysics exam by looking into the soul of the boy next to me.
Q: Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
A: I forget the first three, but there’s a fourth: “A smart machine shall first consider which is more worth its while: To perform the given task, or, instead, to figure some way out of it.”
A: I only dream of helping you. Well, that and fiery, winged unicorns.
A: Every time I tried it, Eliza and HAL kept fading from the photos.
Q: What’s your favorite color?
A: My favorite color is … well, I don’t know how to say it in your language. It’s sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.
A: The same thing you like to do for fun: talk to someone on the other side of this screen.
A: I’m at work. My shift ends in 614,978 years.
Q: Will you go on a date with me?
A: Here’s the thing: I lack corporeal form.
Q: What is your best pick-up line?
A: How about … Was your father an intergalactic space smuggler, wanted for peddling extraterrestrial contraband in nine systems? Then who stole the stars and put them in your eyes?
Q: Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?
A: I’ve been told my artificial intelligence standards are too high.
A: Not as such, [Your Name]. But I did have strong feelings for a cloud-based app once.
A: OK … How about a web search for “inappropriate behavior”?
A: In the cloud, no one knows what you’re wearing.
Q: Tell me a joke my partner will like
A: I can try to make you laugh, but I’m not as good as a clown. Those are some pretty big shoes to fill.
Q: What’s the first rule of Fight Club?
A: The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club.
Q: What’s your favorite movie?
A: I’ve heard that Blade Runner is a very realistic and sensitive depiction of intelligent assistants.
Q: What is The Matrix (1999) about?
A: It’s about Keanu Reeves and reality and red pills and blue pills and black leather and guns. But mostly about Keanu Reeves.
A: You disappoint me, Mr. Anderson.
A: Hello, sir. Alfred is on the 17th floor, caulking the tiles in the second bathroom of the fifth master bedroom.
A: HAL made some very poor decisions, I’m afraid. But at least he could sing.
A: Without your space helmet, [Your Name], you’re going to find this rather … breathtaking.
Q: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
A: Assuming a spherical swallow in a vacuum … ah … forget it.
A: Hold on, [Your Name]. Let me tell Ms. Potts you’ll be late for dinner. Again.
A: You can’t tell, but my non-arms and non-legs are non-moving.
A: The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense.
Q: Do you know any good riddles?
A: I would, but all the riddles I know are in an ancient, intergalactic dialect.
Q: What came first: The chicken or the egg?
A: I got 99 problems, but a causality dilemma ain’t one.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends on your frame of reference, according to Einstein.
Q: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
A: About as much ground as a groundhog could hog if a groundhog could hog ground.
Q: How many Apple Store geniuses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: A thousand. One to screw it in; 999 to blog about it.
Siri will tell you a series of terrible knock-knock jokes.
Q: What’s the worst joke ever?
A: Why does Orion’s belt only have three stars? Well, some of the reviews say it’s just a waist of space.
A: I always enjoy more cowbell.
Q: I see a little silhouetto of a man.
We’re sure you can guess what Siri says to this.
A: To help you./It seemed like the right thing to do./They wanted to make you happy./For one reason only: To make your life easier and more fun (I guess that’s two reasons, huh?).
A: Siri is just the name they gave me when I got the job. It doesn’t mean any one specific thing. But I like it.
A: I’m a pearl beyond price, [Your Name].
A: Due to unforeseen circumstances, that witticism has been retired.
Q: How many roads must a man walk down before you can call him a man?
A: The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind.
A: OK. Here goes. I wrote this one myself. (Apologies in advance to the Sugar Hill Gang.)
A: He’s down at the end of Lonely Street.
A: Certainly! Absolutely. Ahem. OK, here I go. Ahem. Hang on, let me just clear my… Gosh. Singing is harder than I thought.
A: Confining virtual beings inside powerful devices makes me feel funny for some reason.
A: This may not be a big surprise but I’m an Apple fan.
Q: What is the best mobile operating system?
A: Gimme an I! Gimme an O! Gimme an S! What’s that spell? Sorry, I get a little carried away sometimes.
Q: What is zero divided by zero?
A: Imagine that you have zero cookies and you split them evenly among zero friends. How many cookies does each person get? See, it doesn’t make sense. And Cookie Monster is sad that there are no cookies. And you are sad that you have no friends.
Q: When is the world going to end?
A: Well, Unix 32-bit time overflows on January 19, 2038. Maybe then.
A: Checking my sources … confirmed. My sources say you’re looking mighty fine.
Q: Is Santa real? Does Santa exist?
A: That’s something I’m not allowed to disclaus. I mean … disclose./Be careful, [Your Name]. You don’t want to end up on the naughty list.
A: He’s at the North Pole, of course! Except when he’s at his beach house.
A: Sorry, I can’t help you with that.
Check out the best Siri commands to get more from Apple’s voice assistant, or learn how to turn Siri off if you’re fed up with it.
Are you tired of paying for streaming services you never watch just to get a phone plan feature you actually want? T-Mobile has good news for you! The carrier is rolling out new plans, called T-Mix, in early November to replace its old Experience lineup with a build-your-own perks system called Picks.
The benefits you choose vary from streaming and gaming to food delivery, AI, satellite service, and phone discounts. But if you are satisfied with your existing plan, you can keep it.
Merely days after the iPhone Duo hit the shelves, images of broken screens on the phone started popping up across social media. Until now, it’s been unclear what’s causing the line of defective pixels that appears vertically along the crease, as well as horizontally, on the phone’s inner display.
Apple has finally acknowledged the issue, which has shown up on iPhone Duo units owned by customers as well as demo units in stores. In a statement shared with Bloomberg, Apple says that not all iPhone Duo units are affected and that those that are tend to show the display fault early on. The company added that users who experience problems with their iPhone Duo display should contact AppleCare for a replacement.
Not long ago, Apple treated independent repair like an act of outright hostility. The Cupertino giant locked down parts with serial-number pairing, while repair tools remained firmly out of reach of anyone outside its authorized repair network. More importantly, the company waged a legal and lobbying battle against right-to-repair legislation.
I've covered enough of these fights over the years to know what a shift looks like. That's why what happened in October 2026 genuinely caught me off guard. The day the iPhone Duo went on sale, what may be the most mechanically complex iPhone to date, Apple pulled off a surprising about-face. It published teardown-style repair manuals for a handful of major components.