As a person who has to wear glasses (I have issues with contacts), smart glasses are actually a product that interests me. If I have to wear glasses, they might as well have some extra features, right?

With options like the Ray-Ban Meta for taking photos and videos, the Razer Anzu for music, and Solos AirGo for AI translation features, it seems like any company trying to break into the market should have plenty of good and useful designs to choose from. Apparently, HMD decided not to look at any of these options before revealing its “Phonecore” range of accessories through a partnership with fashion designer Sinead Gorey during London Fashion Week.

The “Phonecore” range consists of the absurdly oversized, smartphone-shaped sunglasses on the faces of the models below. To be clear, the glasses themselves aren’t “smart” in any way. We’ll give you a moment to examine them in all their glory.

Both lenses are essentially elongated rectangles with black lenses meant to evoke the screen of the HMD Pulse Pro, the company’s first original smartphone. There’s also a “Mobile backpack,” which is a 3D-printed undersized backpack that’s only big enough to carry your smartphone. Finally, you have the Phonecore belt, which consists of a toolkit-style belt built with a pouch to carry your phone like it’s a police walkie-talkie.

Basically, none of the accessories here are functional to use in your actual life, and I can’t imagine they’re actually a good match to anyone’s style, except maybe JoJo Siwa. According to Gorey, “With the HMD Pulse Pro acting as the muse to my designs, our Phonecore collection perfectly demonstrates the coming together of tech and fashion. Each accessory boasts a ’70s space-age future feeling with art-deco references and modern technology at its heart. For me, it’s clear the intersection of fashion and technology is only going to lead to more industry innovations with wearable accessories at the forefront.”

Somehow, I doubt that people will be clamoring to copy the Phonecore style, but I suppose that’s why I don’t get paid the big bucks as a fashion designer. As for the phone itself that these accessories are supposed to represent, the HMD Pulse Pro is a fairly affordable Android phone with a 50-megapixel camera, gesture-activated selfie features, and middling specs despite claims from HMD’s shief marketing officer of “bleeding-edge tech.”

The accessories will be available globally in a limited number, but it’s not clear if you have to pay for them or if they’ll be given away with an order of the Pulse Pro. The Pulse Pro is perhaps mercifully not available in the U.S. market, so if these sunglasses really speak to you, you’ll need to head to Europe to pick them up for a modest 179 euros.